<!--
/* THIS SCRIPT WILL CONVERT ALL TEXT INTO PIRATE LINGO BUT ONLY ON THE 19TH OF SEPTEMBER! */

var todaysDayAndMonth=new Date();
if ((todaysDayAndMonth.getDate()=='19')&&(todaysDayAndMonth.getMonth()=='8'))
   {
   var words={"hello":"ahoy"," hi":" yo-ho-ho","pardon me":"avast","excuse me":"arrr","yes":"aye","my":"me","friend":"me bucko","sir":"matey","madam":"proud beauty","miss":"comely wench","stranger":"scurvy dog","where":"whar","is":"be","are":"be","am":"be","the":"th'","you":"ye","your":"yer","tell":"be tellin'","know":"be knowin'","how far":"how many leagues","old":"barnacle-covered","attractive":"comely","happy":"grog-filled","quickly":"smartly","nearby":"broadside","restroom":"head","restaurant":"galley","hotel":"fleabag inn","pub":"Skull & Scuppers","mall":"market","bank":"buried treasure","die":"visit Davey Jones' Locker","died":"visited Davey Jones'Locker","kill":"keel-haul","killed":"keel-hauled","sleep":"take a caulk","stupid":"addled","after":"aft","stop":"belay","nonsense":"bilge","officer":"bosun","ocean":"briny deep","song":"shanty","money":"doubloons","food":"grub","nose":"prow","leave":"weigh anchor","cheat":"hornswaggle","forward":"fore","child":"sprog","kid":"sproggie","children":"sprogs","kids":"sproggies","sailor":"swab","lean":"careen","find":"come across","mom":"dear ol' mum: bless her black soul","drink":"barrel o' rum","of":"o'"}
   var regs=[];
   for(arg in words){regs[regs.length]=new RegExp(arg,'g')}

   var tags=document.getElementsByTagName('body')[0].getElementsByTagName('*');
   var i=0,t;
   while(t=tags[i++])
      {
      if(t.childNodes[0])
         {
         var j=0, c;
         while(c=t.childNodes[j++])
            {
            if(c.nodeType==3)
               {
               var k=0;
               for(arg in words)
                  {
                  c.nodeValue=c.nodeValue.replace(regs[k],words[arg]);
                  k++;
                  }
               }
            }
         }
      }
   }
//-->